Hello there! Well my last post was four months ago, but for some reason I felt inspired to write this morning. As you can tell by the title, I’m in a really great mood, so this is bound to be cheery and uplifting.
I’ve been sick most of February, and it’s been very frustrating to stay in and stay quiet even though everyone’s sure (including myself), that’s what I need to do. Unfortunately, spending the majority of my month “resting” has left me all sorts of mopy and while I’ve been reading some great books and netflixing some entertaining shows (that’s right, netflixing), overall I just feel blah.
I came across this lovely meme the other day:And it made me chuckle (Just a small chuckle. I’m very protective of my full laugh right now as it’s sure to induce a ten minute coughing fit where I’ll either throw up my lunch or my lung.)
It’s not a new concept, but I still find it interesting: children yearn for the freedom of adulthood (I myself made a solemn vow after being told that my friend could not come over for the day, that when I had kids, I would never deny this request), but as soon as the adulthood achievement is unlocked, we spend time and effort trying to re-create that carefree childhood feeling.
While there are good parts about being an adult, hence the “sometimes” in the title – I mean, I’m not a total downer – I was sitting up in bed this morning reading and found my mind wandering to the sucky parts. I grabbed my notepad, curious to see what my brain would come up with if I made a little list of those stressors. I came up with four right off the bat and I waited a little longer for more to bubble up, but the four is what stuck. Maybe this would make an interesting blog post, I thought. And if not interesting, writing about them might help process why these were the four things I almost instantly came up with…
So, that’s what I decided to do and here they are. Today’s top four reasons being an adult sucks (sometimes):
- I found it interesting that this was the first thing I wrote down, no hesitation. There it is at the top of my page. I had an empty sheet, the question “what sucks right now?” in my brain and “money” filled the first line. What is it about money? Even now, I pause to come up with what to say because it is so complicated. There is never enough, right? But what is enough? I can’t complain, having food in my kitchen and a roof over my head. I know I’m one of the lucky few in this world.But I can’t deny that money stress is always lurking beneath the surface. Here I am, 33 years old, and I haven’t even come close to figuring this one out.
- One thing I did do for 2015, however (in addition to giving you guys that paragraph break as the first paragraph was getting pretty long) was make my only New Year’s resolution about personal finances. Some major life changes over the last year and a half (mainly buying a house and moving Sebastian to a beautiful, but very expensive, boarding facility) has put us in a bit of a holding pattern for making any dent in our debt. (ick. debt was a really hard word to write and admit to) Last year was especially terrible, paying credit cards just so we’d have room to charge them back up again, hitting their limits almost every month. It was during our holiday trip to visit family, on one of our great road trip conversations (love them!), that we decided: that’s it. In 2015, our only resolution would be to stop using credit cards. Period. If we couldn’t pay with actual money, we couldn’t have it and we didn’t need it.
- Today is the last day in February and I’m happy to report that for two months, we’ve been able to stick to this resolution. It has been pretty difficult, however, which is why I think “money” was one of the first things I wrote down. But two out of four credit cards have been shredded (it’s a start!) and if we can make it two months, why not twelve?
- Man, that was a heavy topic. Glad we all had a chance to work through that one. 😉 on to the next!
- Holy crap does responsibility suck. House cleaning, laundry, vacuuming, doing dishes, dusting…my inner child is throwing a tantrum right now. I know that as adults we just gotta suck it up and take care of business, but who wouldn’t love to have a cleaning fairy come over and magically take care of all these things? Come to think of it, when we were kids we probably had one…called mom or grandma, right? Now it’s our turn.
- But it’s not just household responsibility. It’s also the responsibility of getting to work on time, paying bills, paying taxes, going to the dentist, doctor, furthering one’s career, and on and on and on. One responsibility that is particularly heavy right now is my pets. Now, I don’t have kids and I won’t pretend that pets are the same level of responsibility as children, but these little creatures can zap your time and energy so fast! And the HAIR. THE HAIR IS EVERYWHERE. Right now, my purring creature is trying his damndest to lay across my hands and my barking creatures are eying me accusingly for being so lazy (it’s freezing outside! The walks have been short, sweet, perfunctory) and I alternate between standing my ground (it’s my life, too!) and feeling the weight of crushing guilt for being a terrible mom. Sigh….responsibility.
- Facing life.
- Ah, life. With all it’s ups and downs. Not that this is limited to adulthood, of course, but as we age, we are always presented with new experiences, new viewpoints, new people and situations, and we have to face it all. Good lord, start the tiny violins, what I whiner I am today! But, I’m sticking by my list. Facing life sucks sometimes. Choices, oh the choices! What choices do we make and how will that affect everything? If I decided to quit my job and try to become a writer, would I regret it in 20 years? Would it be the best decision I’ve ever made? Do you ever just want to wake up, stick your fingers in your ears, and sing “LALALALALALA” through the entire day? We do find ways to escape: movies, books, video games……wine. But in the end, to be responsible adults we just have to face it and do our best. And, facing life leads me to the last item on my list from this morning:
- Hopes and Dreams.
- What you say? How can “Hopes and Dreams” be on the list of why being an adult sucks? I myself was kind of shocked to see what my hand finished writing. It was one of the reasons why I sat for a while to see if anything else came to mind. Was this really the last item on my list of stressors? Well I guess so, because my brain refused to budge. But it did give me a reason why: all our hopes and dreams? ACHIEVING THEM IS ENTIRELY UP TO OURSELVES. What a frickin’ load of pressure. I’m not saying you don’t need support systems, outside influence, and a lucky break here and there. But really, it’s up to us. If I’m not happy with who I am, I can’t blame anyone but myself or at least, I should recognize that I have the power to change it. Now, I realize not every situation is black and white, and there are a thousand shades of grey (more than 50, for sure), but in my situation at least, I feel the often crushing weight of my hopes and dreams. LOL. Ok. Full disclosure? I just had a cough-inducing laughing fit after that sentence. But I’ll let it stay on the page. Seriously, though. I stress about this all the time! I’m not riding enough, I’m not working enough, I’m not going to the gym enough, I’m not reading enough, and yes, even you my little blog, I stress out about you. Those hopes and dreams we have as kids? Well, now we’re adults and the pressure’s on to achieve them.
Hum. And there you have it. My happy little light-hearted Saturday morning post. Well at least it’s still Saturday morning to me, I’m still in pj’s, slippers, and a robe.
Yeah, I don’t think I want to adult today. But tomorrow? Tomorrow’s a new day.