I feel like I’ve been avoiding writing about my current “body transformation” efforts….
Probably because I have been.
Let’s face it. I haven’t been a very cheery person lately with all the grey days and constant “last” snowfalls. I have a tight, restrictive feeling around me – mostly when I think about riding and other outdoorsy things like running with my pups. The desire is there, hell, I’m daydreaming about these activities, but my environment won’t cooperate.
I realize that I’m being a bit of a crybaby, but I always waver between being an optimist and a very sarcastic person. I can often look on the brighter side, but I don’t have a “cheerleader” type personality.
I’ve also been reading a lot of other blogs and, although there are many who present insightful and encouraging weight loss messages, there are others who outright scorn “weight loss” blogs, stating “I love who I am, curves and all and I don’t have to change for anyone!” And that inspires me, too. And kind of makes me feel guilty for having a “weight loss” component to my blog. Can’t I just be happy with me?
I think the hard part is, just like I can be an optimist one minute (I can DO this! Time for a better ME!), I can just as quickly get sucked into issues I wrote about in Sorting through the bad stuff. I often doubt that anyone would be interested in reading about my personal journey and it’s also scary to write about anything that is so personal.
The other thing is when I went almost six weeks without actively “checking in” I gained some weight back and I feel like I’ve been waiting until I took it all back off to triumphantly post that I’m back to where I ended in February and it’s close, but not quite there. There are many people who warn me that the scale is just a tool and not to get fixated on the number. It’s tough, though. Stupid little numbers can make or break a day if let them get to you.
So, in the end, I guess I’ll keep writing about my nutrition and fitness plans because it’s apparent I have more to say. Right now, I am weighing myself every day and this morning I was at 195.2 – just about 2 lbs over where I was in early February.
On the nutrition plan I am currently following, I focus on hitting calorie, protein, carb, fat, and fiber goals each day and have been using the My Fitness Pal app to do so (and I love it!). Right now each day I go for: 1,500 cal, 110g Carbs, 160g. protein, 45g fat, and 30g fiber. The nice flexibility of the plan means I get to eat lovely things like this:
I’ve also been doing a 3x week strength routine and cardio 3-5x a week. I’m happy to report that, for the first time in about a year, I was able to do 4 mins running, 1 min. walking on the treadmill, “running” at 4.0 because that’s where my heart rate stays between 150-160.
More later – gotta run. I’ll end with this: although I do like a lot of things about myself, I guess I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to make some positive changes as well. I’ll write, you read – if you so choose.