Feeling “off.”

Feather PenIt’s been a weird week.

Not only has it been quite some time since I’ve posted, I’ve also had a really hard time finding the desire to post – or do anything at all for that matter.

Partially, I’m going to blame my wonderful friends.

You know when you have such an amazing time on a vacation that it’s really hard to get back into the “real world?” I think that’s what happened to me this week.

Last Wednesday, Steve and I readied the house for some out of town guests – two coming from D.C., two from the Boston area, and two from St. Paul.  On Thursday morning, we drove down to the Twin Cities to welcome those flying into Minnesota.  Some had already visited this state, but I don’t think any (except the one couple who lives here now) have ever been here in the winter.  We were excited to show off Duluth at this time of year, and, as a bonus, had even convinced a few of the guys to jump into Lake Superior for the Polar Bear Plunge.

Polar Plunge 2013

Jumping into Lake Superior on a beautiful February afternoon to cool off.

I anticipated a very fun and entertaining weekend and was not disappointed.  These are some of my absolute favorite people on the planet and our visits, especially those where we all get together, happen much less often than I would like.

It was one of those weekends where you really remember what’s important in life.  Where you can let go of the little things and just enjoy being. It’s really hard to come back after these types of visits – it kind of reminds me of when I’ve just finished a really good book and for a second I can’t decide what seems more real: the world around me or the one in the pages in my hands.

So, I was slow to come back to life this week.

This was compounded by the fact that I came down with a bad cold and spent almost all of Wednesday and Thursday in bed.  Even had I been ready to get to work in my mind, my body was having none of it.

And now here I am facing the weekend, and I feel like I should be back on Monday.

I guess that’s why I’m feeling off.

I think it also has to do with the fact that I’m supposed to start back on my nutritional plan tomorrow.  There’s always that little kid inside, kicking and screaming, “I don’t wanna!” Even thought the rational side of my brain realizes how much crappier I’ve been feeling since I’ve strayed from the plan and how much better I’ll feel once I start up again.

I think it’s also just plain scary to take that first step on a journey, and that’s maybe what’s really happening here.

I had a little vacation – from the nutritional plan, from the gym, even from riding – and now I’ve got to do the hard stuff, like challenging myself to stick to my goals.

Tomorrow morning I weigh in for the first time in three weeks and I know I’m not going to love what I see, but I also know that it’s time to push that child in me aside and get ready to embrace the spring – and all the challenges that will come with it.

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2 responses to “Feeling “off.”

  1. I understand the feeling–which is not unusual. You need to allow yourself some time off. But, I’m glad you are forcing yourself back. You haven’t been with your new eating regime long enough for it to become a part of your life. Hopefully, your trainer will introduce a less strict way to improve your eating pattern(ie–eating more regular, healthy foods instead of always relying on the liquid stuff. That food will be a whole lot more fun to eat). Remember, for this endeavor to suceed, your changes in eating must become an acceptable part of your life–not just a diet.

    • I’m really thankful for that comment, Lita! I’ve had a hard time over the last few weeks, beating myself up at times because I had a tendency to fall back into old habits. But you remind me that following a 16 week plan dosen’t mean I’m going to erase 30 years of habits. I agree – the main key is acknowledging that it is a lifestyle change and not a diet. Diets end and the goal is to be healthy for life. Thanks again for reading! 🙂

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