When I started this blog, there were a number of themes I wanted to explore – writing, health, riding, etc. – and to do so correctly, I thought it was important to first post some background and history on these topics.
I’ve spent quite a few hours writing and refining each draft to make sure everything sounded the way I intended, that it was well thought out, and well-written before publishing. I think one of the most difficult tasks in writing is effectively communicating what one is trying to communicate! I also think that I’ve done a pretty good job explaining my history and goals for this blog.
But, when I sat down to write the other night I really struggled.
I was not at a loss for something to write, in fact, quite the opposite happened. I found myself so engrossed in writing that quickly one topic lead to another, and lead to another, and when I stopped for a break I realized I had not organized my writing as I usually do.
You see, whenever I’ve written, I’ve always used the format I learned in high school: Intro, Thought 1 (with intro, support, closing), Thought 2 (with intro, support, closing), etc., then Closing (to recap). It has served me well and I’d even say this has strengthened my writing through the years.
But this writing that I did the other night was not the same. I won’t go so far as to say it was a stream of consciousness style in the manner of Jack Kerouac, but I could probably liken it to free writing – just letting thoughts flow.
Now that doesn’t sound so bad, does it?
But for me, when re-reading, I was cringing and editing furiously because I’m so used to writing with structure! I thought the writing was horrific and I didn’t want anyone to see it, but I loved the ideas that were coming through.
Here’s my dilemma: I’m publishing these words for all to read and I’d like to keep a certain personal standard, but I would also use this blog as a creative outlet and a way to just get my fingers moving on the keyboard. I recognize that everything I write may not be superb, but I also never know when, or how, the next great sentence is going to appear. Isn’t the diamond always in the rough? To be better at writing, I’ve just got to write.
This is what I’ve decided: I need to drop out of this self-conscious mode and stop being afraid to just write what I’m thinking and publish posts that aren’t revised to death. I’m going to have to come to terms with the fact that not every post will be perfect, or my favorite, or my best writing. I’m going to have to just drop my guard and write. Very scary stuff!
So I apologize for what posts might come in the future. All I can say is: read it if you want, like it if you like it, comment if you have something to say! Hopefully there will be at least a few of my posts on various topics to keep my words and thoughts interesting, and, either way, I’ll be writing.
And that’s really what matters to me.